I suppose that it's easy to get lost when you wonder off-course, and if you don't really have anyone to lead the way it can be difficult to get back on track. I suppose that not everyone is drawn to the career paths that are so prevalent in this day and age, but no one just has their life plan fall into their lap; sometimes you have to get lost to find what you are really looking for, and that is what this note is about.

I am writing this in result of where I am now; looking through my own eyes but walking in the same shoes as many others. For the past six years, my student career has been one nervous report card, one disappointment, and one zero after another. It's not that I or anyone else is lazy, but just that it's hard to shoot for an empty goal; to work so hard for something that you don't even know what it is. The real question here is what really motivates you, what are you working towards and how are you going to make this happen? Weather it's being a doctor, a teacher, or a rock star, if you give yourself a purpose there will be nothing that can stand in your way. But for some people like me, it may take a few try's to discover what you truly want, even if it makes you more off-track than before... It's amazing how much your goals can affect you.

Sometimes being apathetic isn't defiance, but a reflex of fear... fear of growing up, moving on, or losing yourself to new ideals. Life gave me a lemon and I reluctantly took it; being swayed by the misconception of this book's "ugly cover", I believed that it was a punishment rather than a second chance. The fact of the matter is that sometimes you have to be impulsive, don't worry about the "ugly cover" but open it up and see where you go from there. And if you could take my past and sum it up, you would realize that I wasn't being impulsive, nor was I over thinking... but I was simply just not acting on what I thought because I felt comfortable with where I was. I got too caught up in the mist of what people told me I should do and where I should go and what I should think, and the in result of this I got dizzy and lost. But after years of digging myself deeper into a hole life DID throw me a lemon, and I found that it's the most authentic feeling: rising above better than before.

Life never throws you a bone or bails you out of your mistakes... Sometimes even if you have to take the long road you won't regret it in the end, because you have seen far more. I don't know weather or not it's the shock or fear of growing up, the devastating prospect of what comes next, or just the un-knowingness of it all... but I am powering through it all more valiantly. They call it the 'resolution', but I am not there just yet. I may be resolving my conflicts, but life will make more, and I can only hope to overcome them just as I have with recent events. One thing that I have learned is that when you ARE taking that long road, it isn't time to be nostalgic but there is always time to stop and smell the roses. Because fundamentally you cannot simply change your path based on past mistakes, but keep it moving in the right direction.

I'll end my note with the fact that I am cognizant of what I have done in the past, I know where my situation lies now and for some reason it all feels like it is going to be okay for once. Maybe one day I will reach my final resolution, but all I know now is where I'm going and it's going to take a lot of work to get there... but at least I know where I am going, and I am fine with that.